Ari Flechner arrives for a meeting with a spring in his step and some news: as of the previous Friday, he has left his demanding job. He admits to a few nerves. "I've worked for 44 years straight. I've never had a break," he says. But always the engineer, he already has a plan: "I've given myself 3–15 months to figure out what's next."
One thing he has no intention of changing is his volunteer work as an advocate with CASA OC.
An emotional response
Ari first heard about CASA at a Lunch and Learn Zoom hosted by his former employer as the world emerged from the Covid pandemic. "Our entire company was working from home," he explains. "We were re-integrating into our workplace at a time when Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives were a priority. Our company wanted to get people back out into society and to have them make a difference in the world."
After four or five of these sessions, he joined one hosted by Norma Mendoza of CASA OC. "The CASA session was the first that resonated with me," he says. "Within ten minutes I was hooked and experienced an emotional response to the presentation."
He had doubts at first. "I wasn't sure if I could do it, but I'm not a quitter. I signed up for the CASA training and pushed through my discomfort. I figured I had to embrace possible failure, and I believe the bigger the failure, the more you learn. That's the way I'm hard-wired."
Why it mattered
The pull toward CASA traces back to Ari's own childhood. When he was 12, his father disappeared from his life completely. His mother went back to work, and his grandmother began to take care of him.
"As a parent you make deposits into your kids' lives which hopefully pay off as they grow into adulthood," Ari says. "My dad never made any deposits into my life. I figured, I can make deposits for another child. My own three kids were almost grown and I realized, 'I have something more to give.'"
Randall
After completing training, Ari was matched with a 12 year old youth named *Randall. "Randall was 12 going on 22 and thought he knew everything," Ari says. Over time, the two built a solid bond.
"I wasn't trying to be his parent or his accountability coach," Ari says. "I just tried to give him experiences and help him see a different side of the world: what success looks like, what an office looks like. Going hiking, snow-tubing, walking on the beach or attending live sporting events. All the things we take for granted. I think that's really paid off."
One moment stands out. Randall was afraid of planes, and Ari found a simple, creative way to help. "He was scared of planes, scared of everything. I took him to a restaurant near the LAX flight path and together we watched planes take off and land. I just watched him observe the planes in awe, and he seemed to get over the plane fear."
There have been frustrations, too. "Randall really doesn't like school," Ari says. "He is just going through the motions to get out of the system and 'start his life.' He'd really like to get a job and start making some money, but he's not allowed to do that unless his attendance and his grades improve. It's a vicious cycle, because he won't do that, and that results in him getting more frustrated and depressed about his situation."
A sounding board
Ari leans on his advocate supervisor, Cindy Nydell, in those moments. "Sometimes as a CASA, you want instant change, and there are frustrations when kids do the things they do. Cindy gets that and tempers my expectations. She reminds me I can't change the world or change him. But I can give him experiences. At the end of the day, it's all on him. Cindy really helps me through those moments."
Cindy nominated Ari for Advocate of the Month because of his deep commitment to CASA and to his youth. "Ari has been with Randall from day one. I've seen so much growth over his years as a CASA. He has had some hard discussions with Randall. He has traveled to many different locations, in and out of Orange County, to see him and plans outings around what Randall will really enjoy doing. Ari has recently become a donor in addition to being a CASA. He participates in the Men of CASA affinity group and loves talking about his role as a CASA out in the community."
Men of CASA
Ari calls his time with the Men of CASA group a form of therapy. "It's good to connect with other men about our cases. There's something cathartic about talking in a confidential environment about being an advocate. Initially the group was more training oriented, but it's evolved into more of an open session format and I appreciate that."
He'd like to see the group grow. "I wish we had more male CASAs to support these youth. I'd like to see 50/50 male and female advocates for our kids."
Life skills in action
Ari recently attended two financial-basics training sessions hosted by California CASA: the first on checking accounts, savings accounts and credit cards, the second on investing. "It was so worthwhile I had Randall watch it," he says. "This started a conversation, and I suggested he go with his father to apply for a credit card as an authorized user. We talked about credit and debt and what a credit score is. I explained the downside of being unbanked, which could make it hard for him to get a job or an apartment without some financial history. It was all resonating with him and he really appreciated it."
These lessons fit CASA OC's HELP Model, which encourages advocates to support their youth in four key areas: Health, Education, Life Skills and Permanency.
Recruiting more men
Ari's wheels are always turning on how to bring more men into CASA OC. He suggests college campuses and televised sports events as fertile ground. "In my opinion, it's not really a time issue. It's men thinking they don't have what it takes to do this. My answer to that is, 'You don't need to do anything. You just show up and be that one reliable pillar in a child's life.'"
What's next
With his newfound free time, Ari may even consider taking on a second youth, but he's quick to add a caveat. "I'm not going to commit to anything new for at least three months! I'm going to play golf and maybe even take a vacation or two."
If you are interested in becoming that steady presence in a child’s life, learn more by attending a CASA information session. Contact Norma Mendoza for upcoming dates.
*Name changed to protect privacy