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What Is “Grooming” Really All About?

What Is “Grooming” Really All About?

The terms “grooming” and “pedophile” are frequently thrown around in the media and make for salacious headlines and political click-bait. But the risk to vulnerable children is real, prevalent, and much harder to identify and prosecute than most people understand. 

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month and, as part of CASA OC’s ongoing staff training, three attorneys from Manly Stewart Finaldi, a leading sexual abuse law firm in America, recently visited the CASA offices. They educated staff and board members on the tactics pedophiles use to gain access to children and to abuse them.

This topic is highly relevant to the work CASA does since many youth in the foster care system are victims of sexual abuse or assault and their status as a dependent youth puts them at greater risk of being sexually abused in the future. CASA’s model of matching a vulnerable youth with an adult volunteer relies heavily on CASA's ability to adequately screen, train and closely supervise adult volunteers. So the insights provided in the training were invaluable to the staff.

What is Grooming? Grooming is building a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person to manipulate, exploit and abuse them. These are the common traits of Grooming:

  • Targeting vulnerable populations who don’t have a traditional support system

  • Developing access to child and attempting to isolate from others

  • Building trust through gifts and/or special treatment

  • Desensitizing to inappropriate behavior

  • Cultivating a “special relationship” and normalizing this relationship to create confusion

  • Grooming of others around the child and earning their trust; parents and even the wider community

For CASAs or others who work with children, it is important to recognize the signs of grooming and to be aware of Child Sexual Abuse Accomodation Syndrome (CSAAS.)  CSAAS is a pattern of behaviors that are unhealthy and that require understanding if effective intervention is to occur. These behaviors displayed by sexual abuse victims might include:

  • Secrecy

  • Helplessness

  • Entrapment and accommodation

  • Delayed disclosure

  • Retraction/Recantation

Additional Takeaways:

  • Pedophiles don’t share any common profile, in fact, they are often pillars in their community - a popular teacher, physician, coach or volunteer.

  • They seek out positions working with or helping children

  • 1 in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys will be sexually abused by an adult by the time they are 18

  • In almost all reported cases, there is an effort to suppress this information by institutions (schools, hospitals, churches, youth organizations) 

  • At-risk populations include children without a strong support system at home (single parents, low income, and non-English speaking families)

  • Self-reporting as a child is very rare; most girls don’t report until they’re in their 40s and boys wait even longer

  • Pedophiles don’t like roadblocks so close supervision and checks on their work will discourage them


Check out the resources from Rainn, Helping Survivors, or Human Trafficking Hotline to learn more about this important topic.