CASA OC volunteer Nico Coetzee has a demanding career in technology and marketing, two young children, a wife, and a comfortable life in south Orange County but he grew up with a single mom in a third world country where electricity and running water are not always readily available. He’s lived in the United States for the past 17 years and still feels appreciation for how well things work here and gratitude for the life he now enjoys.
It is this spirit of gratitude that drives Nico’s desire to give back as an adult. He previously spent time doing volunteer work in the mental health field working on suicide prevention, but the birth of his children a few years ago brought about a desire to volunteer with children in crisis. He considered working with programs that provided adult mentors to children, but was specifically drawn to the work of CASA due to the opportunity to work within the court system to truly advocate on behalf of a child.
So, a little over two years ago, Nico began his journey with CASA by attending the comprehensive training provided to all volunteer advocates before being sworn in. He felt the training was very thorough and helped prepare him for the challenges of working with youth who have been abused or neglected and are in the foster care system. He was assigned an Advocate Supervisor, Jennifer Kordek, sworn-in, and soon matched with his first child.
Nico describes the experience meeting his 14 year old youth, “I do lots of public speaking and high-tech million dollar presentations, but I’ve never been as nervous as I was when I first met my youth. It’s such a scary process for children when they get removed from their household and separated from the only person they rely on. It’s a double-whammy for them so it’s super stressful in two ways. They're placed in the Orangewood emergency shelter for youth or in foster care and they’re feeling vulnerable so they shut down and that’s when a CASA often gets involved. It can be really challenging to penetrate that - they’re very fragile. But my training helped prepare me - you just have to get through it.”
The jarring contrast between his own life and that of his CASA youth was really on his mind every time Nico would get in his car to drive home after a day spent together. But Nico said that emotion is what motivated him to want to do more for his youth and to appreciate his own personal circumstances. “I didn’t realize the impact becoming a CASA would have in working with my own kids. It makes me appreciate what they have a lot more and it makes me a better dad.”
Nico says that his family is aware of the work he does for CASA. Although he can’t share details about his youth, his wife and children, ages 8 and 6, know when he’s going to visit him. “My wife and kids don’t know the specifics of the case but they’re aware of what I’m doing and where I’m going when I leave the house. My children are too young to fully understand it but they realize what I’m doing is needed and important.”
When asked how he finds time to volunteer when he has a demanding full-time career and two young children of his own, Nico quickly replies, “I just make it a priority. What you prioritize, you end up doing and this is something that’s really important to me.” He also shared that growing up without a dad helped him realize how vitally important male mentors are in the lives of children. “I didn’t have a dad while growing up and had a pretty rough childhood. It’s only now, as a grown man and through my CASA training, that I can trace some of the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) in my own life back to the lack of a father figure as a child.” He adds, “the lack of male CASAs is just crazy to me,” and says he believes one of the root causes of problems for CASA youth is not having a strong father figure in their life.
“With my first youth, it was hard to keep him from joining a gang. He would be walking home from school and they’d literally hand him a $100 bill and drive off. It happened for over a week - that’s how they recruit. It’s so much money for these little kids. But then they want you to do something for the money.” Nico added, “often when a CASA gets involved the youth is at this crossroads and you can lose them forever. They can join a gang or end up in juvenile hall. It’s such a crucial time in their lives and the presence of a supportive adult can make all the difference.”
He credits his CASA training and the support and guidance of his Advocate Supervisor, Jennifer Kordek with helping him navigate some of the tougher challenges he’s faced as a CASA. “I’ve worked with Jennifer since day one and she’s been awesome. I love working with her and we sometimes talk for hours after my visits. I don’t know how she sleeps with all she has to do.”
Jennifer said, “Nico is currently a CASA for two brothers and it's been a bit of a struggle making contact with them but he is using his position as a court appointed advocate to try everything possible to get support for the boys. Nico was an amazing CASA to his previous youth as well. He consistently tries to be the best CASA he can possibly be to support his youth.”
Nico concludes by saying it really all boils down to consistency. “Just show up - it doesn’t matter how uncomfortable it might be. People should just take the plunge. Anyone can do this, you just need to step up and do it - it’s needed. Rearrange things to make this a priority. The rewards you’re going to get as a human being and the growth you're going to experience yourself is going to outweigh the time spent - hands down. A warm body - just driving them to a McDonalds week after week - eventually they get out of the car, turn around and say, “See you in two weeks??”
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